Millennium Gothic

Pencil & Pastel on Paper.
    (32 x 24 inches)
Imagined & realized 100 days before the 20th century died. (1999)

  My blood ran coldest that fateful day in the final April of the 20th century. It had finally happened. Some punk rock pariahs pushed by one too many wedgies (or any of the myriad other ritual teen humiliations to be suffered) had grabbed their parents’ guns and held their high school hostage.
The media descended like Hair Club for Men vultures and fed upon the carnage as snipers solved the problem. Then they all went fucking nuts on the bloody aftermath. The place? Columbine, Colorado. And there I was not 13 miles away, watching it all unfold on live television all day long in incorporated Denver. They blamed the music. They blamed the video games. They blamed the corporate-created “pop” culture. One local news reporter even said “And in one of their lockers was inscribed the words ‘Ich bin Auslander’. I don’t know what that means, but it can’t be good.” It means I’m an outsider, you fucking vampire.

  I’m an outsider too. I didn’t want to be, trust me. It just sort of happens… Other people decide whether or not you fit in, never you. Who would willingly be ostracized? To be laughed at? To be kicked around? The two most powerful forces in the universe are gravity and low self-esteem, but come on. Who asks for it? I enjoy the same music, video games and culture those poor bastards did. Well, all except for the racist bullshit, but that’s for another rant. So if all that “media” drove them to do such a horrific act, why didn’t I do the same? It’s simple. It’s all about self control. Of being the better human being and ending the circle of violence with yourself, not others.

  Five months later I stood in the parking lot with a $2 Instamatic camera and snapped some reference photos while wearing my black trench coat. Nobody approached me. I felt somehow vindicated by getting away with it. That’s Columbine High School in the background, in case you’re wondering. The window just left of President Clinton’s ear is where they pulled that scared, crying and bloodied boy from a broken window and onto the top of a van to drive him to safety as the circle closed in on two other terrified kids who took an idea steeped in hate one step to far… Marilyn’s expression says the rest.

  Anyway, to stop rambling like an idiot and bring this all to a head, this picture was meant to simply sum up the final days of 20th century American culture while parodying a classic 19th century American painting of a similar name (the more things change...) and layout all for the sake of finishing an advanced life drawing class at the Art Institute of Colorado. Created in a 20 hour stretch solely powered by hard music, coffee, cigarettes and cold Taco Bell leftovers.

  Viva la Auslander.


Cheers,
-Yer old buddy Dave